We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
