why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
