we're blogging at a bar
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize