So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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