sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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