I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
