Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
