the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
