You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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