Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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