So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize