He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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