i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
