Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
