Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
