was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
