Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
