We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize