btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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