It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
