She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
