Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
