awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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