Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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