I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
