My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize