Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
