I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
