i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
