real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
