if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
