great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
cat food counts as protein by the way
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
