dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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