So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
