plz talk dirty to me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
