He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
