wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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