Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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