I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
