I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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