you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
