I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
