So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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