Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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