no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
