hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
