Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
