Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
