Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
