it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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