Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
