I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
