I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
