And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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