the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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