i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
