who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
