This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
