I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
