Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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