Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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