love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
